


My Only Mistake

by lunenightingale



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Betrayal, Evil Tony Stark, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 14:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunenightingale/pseuds/lunenightingale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony doesn't handle PTSD well and does a lot of thinking about how people see him. In the end, Natasha has to stumble on a dark secret he had hoped she'd not find. After all, she's fun to sleep with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Only Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a prompt from a friend that wanted the pairing with Tony 'evil'. It's placed after The Avengers but before Iron Man 3. He didn't fall for Pepper and chose to date Natasha instead.

_I’m on the outside_  
 _I'm looking in_  
 _I can see through you_  
 _See your true colors_  
 _Cause inside you’re ugly_  
 _You're ugly like me_  
 _I can see through you_  
 _See to the real you…_  
\- Outside by Staind -

In the darkness, all that could be heard was the faint hum of energy coming from the reactor. You had to listen for it, or it would be missed. Had to know what you were looking for to even pick it up even in the silence of the room. The window tint stood at eighty percent opacity barely letting in the silver blue light of the moon. Silver items caught the light. Glinting faintly and only outlining some furniture like the glass of the desk… or the frame of the chair.

His eyes were closed when he heard the door open. Just a sound no one would have noticed that wasn’t waiting for it. And he was. The chair faced away from the door, keeping the light illuminating faintly through his shirt out of the line of sight… for now. Then the near soundless footsteps were heading his way… and just when the intruder reached his desk, he turned about slowly.

The slim figure stopped the instant the chair moved, but he wasn’t worried. Not at the moment. “Having troubles sleeping, Natasha?”

After a beat, he heard her exhale in the dark. “You didn’t come to bed. I thought I’d use your computer…”

“Lights, thirty percent, Jarvis.” A shock of pale blue white light lit the room revealing the both of them. Dark eyes, nearly black in the low lighting trailed over Natasha Romanoff’s figure slowly making note of the ‘less is more’ look of a black tank top and shorts. “In the dark?” At least she had the decency to look innocent and not wear the outfit for her Black Widow gig.

“I never know if Jarvis will react to me.” She smiled so easily, he marveled at her. The barest twitch of his lips gave away the fact that he appreciated the fact that she could put on a face as easily as himself.

“You’re good with computers, Natasha…” The way he trailed off seemed to make her back go straighter and she nearly took a step back.

“You talk in your sleep.” Her reply was softer, and he wondered if she was looking for something for Fury… or for herself.

Pushing to his feet, he lightly smoothed the form fitting vest… black pinstripe. “You know… black is so cliché.” Moving around the desk with slow movements, he soon slid up to perch on the edge leaving nothing between the two of them. “Always associated with evil… all the baddies wear it.” He’d worn it simply to be less visible tonight.

Natasha’s gaze was carefully guarded as he waved a hand to a chair for her to sit down. “Regardless.” His hands moved to straighten the cuff of the white dress shirt, unconcerned about her presence in the room. “You should know that you’d have to hide your tracks better when dealing with myself… or Jarvis. Did you find what you were looking for last time?”

The look of disdain that flashed momentarily in her eyes as she sat made him want to smile. “You’re trading technology with the Joten, Tony…”

“Not a bad guy once you get to know him. Really knows how to throw a party. Smart too…” A Cheshire cat grin pulled at his lips as he laced his fingers together.

“You’re not denying it.”

“No, I’m not.” Tony’s eyes narrowed a little even when the smile never faltered. “I think, of all people, you’d know better. So… let’s save us some time.” Waiting for her to respond, he caught the slight flex of her fingers. “Come now, Natasha… of all the members of this team… you’re the one that knows what it’s like to play both sides of the field.”

“When?” The only word uttered was clipped and sharp.

“When, what? Be specific, Natasha… But to save time, I’ll assume you want to know when I decided to throw in the ‘hero’ garb in exchange for… lack of a better term… chaotic neutral? I’m impressed you don’t think it wasn’t that from the beginning.” When she didn’t comment, he hooked his feet at the ankles and let them sway a little as he looked thoughtful. “Not long after Vanko tried to kill me with his little drone army. But the doubt was always there.”

Noting the slight tension in her posture, he went on looking for all the world like they were talking about the weather. “I figured… sure… it would take a while, but I could ‘redeem’ myself. Right? Save the world… stop making weapons… take the fall… pretty much lose my company. People would eventually believe I was serious. Or at least my _friends_ would believe I was.”

“You’re such a martyr…” Before she could finish with the snappy comeback, his thumb slid over the switch on the device he’d been holding in the palm of his hands. The shrill high pitched sound filled the room cutting her off efficiently.

“I wasn’t finished.” He turned it off and lightly tossed it to the glass surface with a sharp clatter. “Did you think I wouldn’t be prepared for the infamous Black Widow? Cute. Naïve… but cute. You know, I canned that project. Thought it inhumane and cruel.” Taking the ear pieces out that protected himself from the sound, he tossed them on the desk as well. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine in a little while. Paralysis is temporary. Doesn’t feel too good though. Been there… but hey… at least I won’t try to rip your heart out.” Winking at her, he slid off the edge of the desk and lightly turned her chair to face the window.

A few taps of the fingers turned the opacity down on the windows revealing the night sky and stars. Leaning his shoulder into the cold glass, he didn’t look back at her. “I wasn’t trying to be a ‘martyr’ as you put it.” Why bother looking at her? He wasn’t expecting any reaction, paralysis aside. “I just wanted to prove I was serious about it.”

Tilting his head a little, he slid his hands into his pockets and watched the waves outside. When he’d invited her to come stay with him, he’d not really thought she’d get nosey. His biggest mistake turned out to be trusting someone else. Go figure. “I thought after Stane… I could maybe keep trying from there. Aside from the dying kick.. that puts a kink in a man’s style any day.”

Turning to face her, the shadows played over his face, but there was just enough light to illuminate the corners of his lips as they twitched upward in a faint empty smile. “Then I made a really novel realization after that dying scenario.”

“It wasn’t enough that I relived every night of that cave again… and again… in my dreams… in my thoughts… but when I was dying… do you know not a single person wondered why I went off the deep end? So it occurred to me that this was all just one big illusion. There’s no such thing as loyalty, friendship, or love. Only convenience. Money. And the illusion of those things.” Crossing the room in slow easy steps, he slid down to one knee in front of her. Reaching up, he lightly touched a spiral curl that looked wine red in the low light.

“And slowly, my rationalizing changed. With each brush off… with each disregard… it became clear that _no one_ cares. This society breeds apathy… zero accountability…” Calloused fingertips slid along the line of her jaw before he pressed his thumb lightly against her lower lip. “All of my friends? So-called friends… are simply on the payroll. Sure, there is some fondness there… but when it goes too far, friends are fair weather. Love is just convenient.”

A soft sound left him thoughtfully as he smoothly rose to his feet. Placing his hands on the back of the chair he let his eyes meet hers squarely for a long silent moment. “I’m not out to take over the world. Who would want it? I have all the money I’ll ever need… but there is something that’s never failed me… and that’s science. So… dealing under the table never hurt anyone. I’m not selling weapons of mass destruction…” Yet. Loki was very… _very_ persuasive.

Tipping his head up, he softly pressed his lips in a almost tender kiss to her forehead. “Now the only question I have for you now is this… Are you with me? Or against me? Think about it carefully, Natasha…”


End file.
